Mmmm siding

Female junior: These taste like grandma's house... Not her food, the house.
(refering to glar french-fries)

-Glar

You mean Texas is real?

Female Freshman: Wait... ARE there farms in Texas?

Overheard by: Figures, she's from Iowa.

Egotistical much?

Female student walking across campus: Vaginas are fun, but not everyone's. Just my own.

And there was ice cream in her vagina! (is that too far??)

An often quoted Sophomore Male: Do you know what would make her perfect? If instead of milk, root beer came out of her tits.

-Blanche

Those curly fries man, they mess with your head

Male Student: I made her fuck a deer. I watched. It was awesome.

-Outside of the Pub

Well, he did invent the G-Spot, so you'd think he knew where it was

Female Student: I wonder if Mary orgasmed when God impregnated her?

- ANW

This is a question for the ages

Male Student: If you could travel back in time, who would you rather fuck, Helen Keller or Anne Frank?

- Blanche

The standards for grading have gone way, WAY down

Professor: The multiple choice was all fine, but when I got to the short answers I had to get out the whiskey. And I don't drink. And halfway through, I had to get out the moonshine. I don't even know where you can get that stuff. Guys, it was bad.

- Education class, Academic Hall

That's so... profound.

Male Student 1: Yeah man she closes her eyes, every time, all the time
Male Student 2: Yeah man shes always been like that

- Glar

The McDaniel male population is full of witty, charming and handsome men...

Female Student: Who was that guy who said 'girls that pass out at parties are fair game'? He was kind of cute.

- Hill Hall

Overheard by: Richard

The true meaning of brotherly love

Frat Guy #1: Dude, you should have been there, I really needed a hand-job.
Frat Guy #2: Sorry man, I wish I could have been there.

- ANW

Overheard by: eric

I expect you home every night to watch startrek with me and the baby!

Nerdy boy: I'm having your baby! That does not excuse it!

-Glar porch

So much for this being the fun gym class...

Male student: I asked the teacher if we were allowed to kill people and she said no. So that's out of the question.

-Outside of the library

At first I though, "what a great answer to write on a history test"

Male Student #1: But the Civil War was, like, forever ago.
Male Student #2: No, dude, there's a civil war in Burma, or something.

- Red Square *during the rally*

Overheard by: Elle

The best part is, she was sober.

Frat Guy: Are you drunk?
Sorority Girl: Yeah, I like to throw back the Virgin Marys in the A.M. (Pause) Wait, they're called Bloody Mary's, aren't they?

- ANW

Since when is it called "meeting and greeting"? That's the most intimate handshake ever

female student #1: I can't believe you wouldn't want them to give you some down there!
female student #2: Well, I'd feel more comfortable if I did them, because they'd meet me half way to greet me.
female student #1: Yeah, I guess, but I would want to get something in return, if ya know what I mean.

- McDaniel Hall

Is that a water bottle, or am I just happy to see... myself?

Sophomore Girl: I'm on something hard... Oh wait, it's me.

- Bus ride back from NYC

Overheard by: AR

No, but if you were attracted to her, we might have issues

Awkward Freshman: Like, last night, I had a dream there was this humanoid monster, and it was my mother. Does that mean I have mother trouble?

- Psychology Class

Overheard by: Kara

Only if that stuff is clean, and not connected to you in any way

Sophomore Guy (talking to a group of girls): Aren't you supposed to put stuff up there?

- Early morning in Glar

That's what she said

Female Student to friend: I gave Jason the head and then he dangled it in front of me.

- Bus trip home from Rent

Unless, of course, your activities included being a beautiful, dead woman

English Professor: If someone had on their facebook page "Interests: Beautiful, dead women," that might not be a great match for you.

- Lit by Women class

I usually purr

Male Student #1: Is it okay if I workout for five minutes in the room?
Male Student #2: Sure
Male Student #1: I may growl....

- Blanche

I'm sick of playing phone tag with Paul

Male Student (telling a Spring Break story): The phone rang... And it was Jesus.

- Hill Hall

Overheard by: Oh, Lord

When being precocious goes wrong:

7 year old (to his mother, a Professor): You're a time-saving, money-saving apparatus.

- Hill Hall

Overheard by: Intelligent, or really, really stupid?

I'm not that stressed about the paper...

Professor: Do you need drugs? I have drugs!!

- The Writing Center